It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
