my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
