I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
