Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
