I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
