More tranny stories later!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
