I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No subtext here. People are naked.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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