Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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