Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
