ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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