Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
what day is it and did you see me today?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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