i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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