your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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