im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
