i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
