I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize