I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
