**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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