Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
