So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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