she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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