I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love you. Go after that dick
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
