Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
well you can't waste a boner
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
