I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
