I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
