U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
