it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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