no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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