I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
