Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
