Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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