you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My vagina just recognized that song.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
