It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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