Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
