My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
