Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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