I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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