question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
tell me about the eggs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
