your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
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You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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