So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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