maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
