we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
