your room smells of hookers.
And success
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
