Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
