Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
