I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
