At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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