Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
