You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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