just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize