Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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(908): Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time. http://tfl.nu/kf31

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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(913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4

Replies (15) Good night (7497) Bad night (670)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.

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(774): the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break. http://tfl.nu/7zwe

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(631): View more from New York

Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...

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(631): Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again... http://tfl.nu/fuha

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(586): View more from Michigan

plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you

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(586): plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you http://tfl.nu/ddyv

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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(727): Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail? http://tfl.nu/rsvd

Replies (3) Good night (1996) Bad night (852)
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(647): View more from Ontario

we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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(647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n

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(907): View more from Alaska

Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.

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(907): Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza. http://tfl.nu/7qtg

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(970): View more from Colorado

He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."

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(970): He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park." http://tfl.nu/6eh6

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family

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(780): Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family http://tfl.nu/lw7x

Replies (1) Good night (1013) Bad night (290)
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(801): View more from Utah

It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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(801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp

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(818): View more from California

You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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(818): You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar. http://tfl.nu/wmr3

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.

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(774): preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/6ehv

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (266)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.

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(202): As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring. http://tfl.nu/gw6v

Replies (22) Good night (1887) Bad night (282)

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