Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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