4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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