Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark

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  (206): I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark http://tfl.nu/8yek
  Replies (50) Good night (3739) Bad night (1151)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (29171) Bad night (1156)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently

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  (919): Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently http://tfl.nu/zenu
  Replies (21) Good night (4109) Bad night (966)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

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  (508): I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch. http://tfl.nu/jvw8
  Replies (22) Good night (1125) Bad night (8098)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested

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  (305): Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested http://tfl.nu/egzq
  Replies (14) Good night (2078) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick

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  (909): I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick http://tfl.nu/j8ox
  Replies (4) Good night (1317) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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  (631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1645) Bad night (1484)
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  (789): View more from

  You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

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  (789): You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down http://tfl.nu/6vfu
  Replies (2) Good night (1406) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1833) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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  (440): Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers? http://tfl.nu/175a
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (924): View more from

  He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same

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  (924): He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it (224): Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same http://tfl.nu/6art
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'll pay?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Pick me up at 9.

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  (206): Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you. (425): I'll pay? (206): Pick me up at 9. http://tfl.nu/l115
  Replies (2) Good night (1033) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?

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  (732): if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire? http://tfl.nu/mryp
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert

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  (727): Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert http://tfl.nu/aye6
  Replies (5) Good night (584) Bad night (331)

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