Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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  (813): I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins? http://tfl.nu/vjtk
  Replies (11) Good night (718) Bad night (2681)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.

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  (630): just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now. http://tfl.nu/m10w
  Replies (29) Good night (8006) Bad night (686)
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  (916): View more from California

  He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.

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  (916): He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car. http://tfl.nu/y9if
  Replies (15) Good night (5282) Bad night (1375)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"

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  (203): all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober" http://tfl.nu/2nrl
  Replies (19) Good night (916) Bad night (4123)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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  (615): im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused. http://tfl.nu/4oz4
  Replies (9) Good night (5460) Bad night (1065)
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  (310): View more from California

  It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.

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  (310): It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer. http://tfl.nu/9xay
  Replies (11) Good night (3492) Bad night (2132)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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  (248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f
  Replies (11) Good night (4048) Bad night (1528)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay

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  (647): Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay http://tfl.nu/st3m
  Replies (5) Good night (2984) Bad night (853)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
  Replies (9) Good night (4851) Bad night (918)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

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  (920): I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness http://tfl.nu/erni
  Replies (13) Good night (5013) Bad night (865)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.

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  (604): I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune. http://tfl.nu/081q
  Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (566)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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  (928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb
  Replies (17) Good night (3501) Bad night (1014)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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  (512): Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me http://tfl.nu/ce08
  Replies (5) Good night (689) Bad night (1118)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (884) Bad night (435)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?

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  (712): How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober? http://tfl.nu/4zoo
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (334)

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