There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
