anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My ass is underappreciated
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
