hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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